But it would’ve been very, very expensive. We looked into it and we actually could’ve pulled it off. Tommy had this one crazy idea where he wanted to put his drums on a rollercoaster. Here’s an idea for your next tour: Stiletto boots with rocket boosters in the heels. And then we bring in an engineer and ask, “Hey, is any of this possible? And how much is it going to cost us?” That’s basically it. Before every tour, we just sit down and come up with as many crazy ideas as we can. What cutting-edge technology are you working on now? You’ve given the world the Titty Cam and the spinning mechanical drum kit, to name just a few. Mötley Crüe has always been on the forefront of ridiculous and unnecessary rock theatrics. Just relax with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and some Judge Judy and that’s it, man. Well, sometimes I just want to get back on the tour bus and watch a little Judge Judy. Have you ever walked backstage after a show and said, “Out of the way, strippers, I gotta call my mom!” What’s the least debaucherous thing you’ve ever done? But these days, we have our fun on the stage and that’s about it. We were excessive when we were younger, because we could get away with it and that’s what the times were like. Back in the old days, in the 80s and 90s, we were living like animals. Y’know, backstage at a Crüe show isn’t really what it used to be. So that adults with dignity and a healthy sense of cynicism can have yet another opportunity to remind themselves what it feels like to be an unabashed, power-chord-loving idiot. That’s why Mötley Crüe puts out so many Greatest Hits albums. And guess what? You won’t be doing it ironically.ĭon’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with you. By the second verse of “Same Ol’ Situation,” you’ll be on your feet, dancing across the room with all the glam-cock-rock swagger you can muster, maybe even flashing your tits to a nonexistent band. Feelgood,” which as it turns out is a muscle memory. (“Girls, girls, girls! Long legs and burgundy lips!” Wait, what?) You’ll break out a little air-guitar for “Dr. You’ll sing along with the chorus of “Girls, Girls, Girls,” repeating lyrics that you never realized you knew. And then “Home Sweet Home” kicks in, and you’ll be like “Oh my god, I totally remember that video,” and then you’ll Google it just to make sure it was as beautifully retarded as you remember. You’ll hum along to “Smokin’ In The Boys Room,” not because you like the song, necessarily, but because the melody was drilled into your brain back when MTV still played videos. “Does anybody over the age of 16 enjoy glam cock rock anymore? Even ironically?” But somewhere around the middle of “Shout at the Devil,” you may catch yourself smiling, as the song makes you think about that kid in the fifth grade who drew pentagrams on his notebooks and taught you how to make rock horns. During the first few cuts, you’ll likely be smirking. While listening to Mötley Crüe’s just-released Greatest Hits album-their fifth, if you’re counting-you should expect to experience a wide range of seemingly conflicting emotions.
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